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IMPORTANT PLEASE READ This website and forum has been living on borrowed web server time for years. At the end of this month silsden.net in it's present form will cease to exist, BUT there is a new silsden.net in the making, and a new forum, and lots of exciting new things coming to this space. Peter |
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Replies in this thread : 21
Author |
Topic : hillbilly and his collection of redneck jokes (keep um clean). |
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| midway |
You might be a redneck if you've been married 3 times and you still have the same in laws |
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| hillbilly |
Hello midway it is not so easy been a redneck mate and especialy when it is just coming up to tea time in the hills, It was our lads turn to use the false teeth today and he has not landed back with them yet, I have just cooked a nice chicken curry but if he is not back with the teeth soon i will be having problems again with the chewing but us rednecks are quite adaptable and i think we have a blender somewhere up here (Life is good) |
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| midway |
Crimes among the hillbilly communities are difficult to solve because they all have the same DNA, and no dental records. |
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| hillbilly |
My girlfriend and i once broke up she said to me but we could still be cousins though (Life is good) |
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| hillbilly |
Road kill - keeping rednecks well fed since the invention of the car, By the way pop up for a spot of lunch with us tomorrow midway you are welcome anytime (life is good) |
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| hillbilly |
this post has been edited 8 time(s) THE OFFICIAL YEAR 2014 REDNECK CENCUS FORM Last Name----------- First Name Tick Appropriate Box ( ) Billy Boy ( ) Billy Joe ( ) Billy Sue ( ) Billy Mae ( ) Billy Jack What Does Everyone Call You ? ( ) Booger ( ) Bubba ( ) Junior ( ) sissy ( ) Other Age -- (If Unsure Guess)--- Sex -- M -- F -- Not Sure Shoe Size -- left -- Right Ocupation (Tick Appropriate Box ( ) Farmer ( ) Mechanic ( )Preacher ( )unemployed ( ) Dirty Politician Spouses Name ------------- 2nd Spouses Name ------------ 3rd Spouses Name --------- Lover's Name -------------- Number Of Children Living In The Home --- Number Of Children Living In The shed ---- Number Of Children That Are Yours ---- Education 1234 Circle Highest Grade Completed (Tick Apropriate Box) Number Of Vehicles You Still Crank --- Number Of Vehicles in Back Yard --- Nunber OF Vehicles On Cement Blocks --- Model And Year Of Pickup ------ 196- Do You Have A Gun Rack? Yes( ) No ( ) If No Please Explain------------------------------------------- Number Of Times You Have Seen A UFO --- Number Of Times You Have Seen Elvis in The Last 5 Years --- Number Of Times You Have Seen Elvis In A UFO --- How Often Do You Bath'e ( )Weekley ( ) Monthly ( ) Not Applicable Colour Of Eyes Left ------ Right ------ Colour of Hair ( ) Blond ( ) Black ( ) Red ( ) Brown ( )White ( ) Clairol ( ) Colour of Teeth ( )White ( )Yellow ( )Brownish Yellow ( ) Black N/A ( ) Brand Of Chewing Tobacco ( ) Red Man How Far Is Your Home From a made Up Road 1 Mile( ) 2 Miles ( ) 2 To 5 Miles ( )Over 5 Miles ( ) Over 10 miles ( ) Signiture ---------------- Or Just Mark with an x Date -- -- 2014 |
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| midway |
Thank you hillbilly for the invite ,i,am going to bring a bottle but i don't know is the meat white or red, table manners are important in the mountains ,and i would not like to offend,so i am going to push the boat out and bring a Bigga bottle of ketchup so we can share with one and all. PS could you please ask aunty Sue to wear her vest because i've trouble telling you two apart. |
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| dogcatcher |
this post has been edited 1 time(s) hell brings the film DELIVERANCE to mind  hope you cant play the banjo!!! |
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| midway |
this post has been edited 1 time(s) Makes you think, the original red necks came from the Scottish Highlands.but please keep it to yourself. Dueling banjos , thats my favorite tune. |
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| hillbilly |
What do you call 32 hillbillies standing in a line ? A full set of teeth |
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| dogcatcher |
what do u call a redneck with a sheep under each arm,,,,, a pimp |
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| midway |
Top man hillbilly, sold his water bottle and has given the proceeds to air ambulance, i always said he was a gooden,so will you lot stop picking on him. |
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| hillbilly |
Thee too can be a gooden midway get thee hand in thee pocket fot Yorkshire air ambulance thee may need it one day and it is a bit sad to see that not many donations have been received of late |
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| hillbilly |
Just made another donation to the Yorkshire air ambulance midway just to prove that it realy is painless it only takes a minute to do and that minute will save lives lets all just think about making a small donation and saveing a few more lives lets boost that very small total and show we do have big hearts in Silsden (Life is good) |
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| hillbilly |
this post has been edited 1 time(s) For every ten donations recived for the Yorkshir air ambulance today on silsden.net before midnight hillbilly will make another donation to the Yorkshire air ambulance even if it is only a £1 donation you send (Life is good) |
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| midway |
this post has been edited 1 time(s) Hang on a bit hillbilly,does mother Bubba know what you are doing,she hasn't won that arm wrestling competition yet,it's only two days since the pot came of.sorry that's off. |
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| hillbilly |
It would be nice to see some donations to the Yorkshire air ambulance coming in as fast as all the moaning and groaning does on here lol |
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| hillbilly |
i don't think it would even make any difference if Bob Geldof came to Silsden and said just give us all your ------- money like he said on live aid, not even a £1 donated for the yorkshire air ambulance (what a sad lot) hillbilly is going to make another donation even if you lot don't i dont care if i have to live off road kill for the next month |
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| hillbilly |
We have life in Silsden, THANK YOU to Joe Blogs for his donation to the Yorkshir air ambulance and for having the heart not to have hillbilly living off road kill for the next month three cheers for Joe blogs |
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| hillbilly |
Thank you for the anonymous donation Mr or Mrs anonimous only another eight donations and hillbilly will have to pay again (come on make him squeal) |
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| midway |
looks like Mother bubba won the arm wrestling, she's bung a 50 into the pot ( stand by your man ). |
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| hillbilly |
Ho dear mother Bubba is not standing by her man now after the cranberry and black cherry mix up and tells me Dogcatcher was her favourite coal man years ago so it looks like i am well in the doghouse with her (Life is not good) |
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| Replies in this thread : 21 |
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events sale / wanted general have your say looking for.. skippy greengrass |
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DON'T FORGET THE SUBJECT IS >>>>>>>> Forums Home > General Forum > hillbilly and his collection of redneck jokes (keep um clean). |
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12/07/2014 : 18:44:49 